The Cage – by Inês Pereira

18.11.2013

I wake up… I can’t believe I had the same dream again… I hate this… I hate all of this… I’m all sweaty… The sun is shining already, but it isn’t that hot… I can’t believe it… The same dream… night after night… The same dream… Time and time again… It’s been like this for ages… always the same dream…

I light a cigarette. It’s 7 AM. Too early to go to work. I turn on the TV. The news, commercials, cartoons… I turn it off again… I’m just going to take a shower… A long cold shower… That’s a good idea. A shower.

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Feeling the cold water running down my body makes me feel that I’m alive again. It’s as if I can feel every drop touching my skin… softly… gently… I feel this kind of numbness taking me over… I feel the smell of the soap, I feel the soft touch on my skin… I close my eyes… I think of nothing at all… I just feel…

The alarm clock! Now I’m late! I can’t find a towel! Shit! I get dressed in a hurry, I have to swallow my toast, and I haven’t got the time to brush my teeth! Life sucks!

Finally I arrive at my desk, and imagine what! My boss is waiting for me… I got fired… Again… I hate my life… If only I could have a good night’s sleep…

I go back home. I feel like I’m going to fall asleep at the wheel… I put some music on. I feel better now. I stop at the supermarket to buy something for lunch and then head back home. I’m trying to remember my dream… No, my nightmare… But it’s not there anymore… I can’t remember a thing! Everyday the same thing… I wake up and remember everything, I’m even afraid to blink, because it’s all there whenever I close my eyes… But when I try to recall it so I can write it down, to try to understand it or to tell it to someone else… it just… disappears…

Should I have something to eat or should I go to bed and try to sleep? I’m going to bed… Too tired to cook a meal… I would probably start a fire…

I get undressed and lie down on the bed. I really enjoy feeling the cold sheets on my skin.. Every time I move it’s like having cold hands running over my naked body… It’s almost as if I had someone there touching me… It makes me feel safer… and that smell of clean fresh sheets… It’s wonderful.

It’s hard to fall asleep… but finally I start closing my eyes… I feel so relaxed and I’m just so tired… I’m falling asleep… I’m falling asleep… I’m falling… falling… I’M FALLING!!! I feel my body sinking into the mattress! Something is pulling me down! What is happening? I can’t move! I can’t open my eyes! I try moving my arms and legs, but nothing moves… WHAT’S HAPPENING?

I guess I must have lost consciousness… Where am I? I don’t recognize this place! It looks like some kind of glass room… There’s no door that I can see… No way out… NOTHING! Outside, the only thing I can see is white walls… Nothing else!!! There’s no doors or windows… or… anything… There’s nothing out there! Only white walls… I try looking up… Is that a hatch? How do I get up there? It’s too high… and this light… it’s just too bright for my eyes… I grope around on the glass walls trying to find something that can help me out of here… Nothing! It’s just plain, cold glass… GLASS! That’s it! I try hitting it and throwing myself against it. Nothing happens! Not even a scratch! It feels like glass… Why doesn’t it shatter? I try calling out for help, but only now I notice I don’t have a voice! What is happening? It’s as if I never had a voice! I open my mouth. My braind is screaming out loud, but no noise comes out! All my screams are trapped inside my head!

I feel something warm and wet on my toes… I look down… Blood! All over the floor! Blood! What is happening? Where is it coming from? What is this place? Who’s doing this to me? I can’t scream…

I’m going to drown! It’s coming in so fast! That feeling again… I can’t move… It’s pulling me down… I don’t want to go down… I’m going to drown… I can’t scream… I’m in blood up to my knees… up to my waist… up to my chest… and my neck… I’m going to drown… I can’t move… I can’t scream… It’s rising so fast…

I feel tears running down my face… like rivers… I see them dropping in that read sea… melting in it… whirling around in it… making strange shapes…

Suddenly I feel something squeezing me… What is this? It’s slippery and moves around me… holding me tight… I feel like I’m in some kind of a trance… I see things going around in front of my eyes… I see shapes… It’s hard to keep my eyes open… I feel the blood thickening around me… moving around me… squeezing me… harder and harder… I can’t move… I can’t scream… I’m trying… but nothing happens…

I try to concentrate… I see these things around me… Most of the blood has disappeared and in it’s place there’s this kind of… bloody water serpents… twisting and twirling around me… desperately fighting each other just do drown themselves in the scarce remaining blood… And they’re pulling me down with them… strangling me… I can feel the screams echoing in my head… louder… and louder… I try to scream! And this time my voice followed my command! I screamed as if I was trying to get everything out of my body through my mouth! All the screaming in my head is now coming out of me with such force that the unbreakable glass walls have exploded!

I wake up… I can’t believe I had the same dream again… I hate this… I hate all of this… I’m all sweaty… The sun is shining already, but it isn’t that hot… I can’t believe it… The same dream… night after night… The same dream… Time and time again… It’s been like this for ages… always the same dream…

I light a cigarette. It’s 7 AM. Too early to go to work. I turn on the TV. The news, commercials, cartoons… I turn it off again… I’m just going to take a shower… A long cold shower… That’s a good idea. A shower.



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Dieser Artikel wurde am 18.November 2013 von mandy geschrieben.

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Mandy Steffan, Community Management